option c

“I discovered there was something else I had never considered - Plan C - don't turn to mush, don't leave, stay and resist.” - Eve Babitz

I was introduced to Eve Babitz and her writing, by way of this quote. I was asked to examine what patterns my cells default to when challenged. While I seldom act on it, running away is a big theme (THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER IN CANADA AND I ROMANTICIZE THAT PLAN A LOT). Lately, when really deeply leaning in to what I feel, I let the emotions run their course and end up in a little hangover for a day. It’s better than hanging on or repressing it, and in fact, what’s been nice, is that on day 2, I usually have clarity and a panned out way of addressing. This option c though, is a nice one to have. To not have to succumb to ‘flight or freeze’, to not have to ‘fight’ in the literal sense of the word.

To me, option c is: to stand my ground, to not over exert - meaning not take on what doesn’t belong to me - yet not back down. Do not catastrophize, dare to hope into action. In the end, liberation.

In this era of trusting my voice more than ever, standing in my power, and fighting misogyny, I’ve been in clean up mode in my life - changes that are long overdue, no longer delaying conclusions that are necessary, speaking up, that type of thing. This idea of an option 3 has been a game changer in allowing me to see possibilities that have been there all along. Usually option c means less people pleasing, standing firm with boundaries, and having difficult conversations. Strike it up to giving less of an eff in your 40s or a new era, but I am here for it.