highly sensitive parent

I’ve heard of highly sensitive kids. And while Sebi shows me deep care, empathy, discernment, and definitely picks up on energy and energy shifts (he got it from his mama) in a heightened way, he’s pretty grounded and sensible. I’m not surprised, my Taurus baby. (*Cue Sebi, “I' am NOT a baby. I am a big boy”).

Me, on the other hand? Forget this “wearing your heart on your sleeve” business, it’s been feeling lately like it is my whole heart walking around on the outside of me.

Now, I kid about being a highly sensitive parent. I know I’m sensitive in general, but I’m also quite grounded, not reactive, adaptable. But where it’s been challenging me lately has been in relation to the lessons and harshness of the world that Sebi will have to learn that I can’t shield him from.

He was left out of something and while he did not know, it made my heart ache for him.

He will have a big change at school and I’m mourning the shifts on his behalf, knowing full well he will adjust without a hitch, as he always does.

I see his own behaviour of calling out unnecessary hurtful things like “you’re not my best friend” or “I don’t love him” that I am trying to manage my emotions around.

It’s all the transitions, the universal aches and pains, the unescapable growing up. Phew, is it ever a doozy in relationship to your kiddo.

And yet (there’s always an “and yet”), I do want him to experience these things as they are the experiences that will allow him to learn about his resiliency. That will allow him to feel and accept, to understand and move on, to address and learn from. And I want him to trust the process of it all.

But wow, it’s tough. It’s allowing me to learn and heal and tend to my own resilience in real time (while shielding him from what I can, while I can).

Anyone else feeling this emo on the parenting front?